I used to think that I was a pretty “likeable” person. Meaning that I was mostly a delight to be around, that I tried not to cause conflicts in relationships, and that I was easy to spend time with. However, in the past two months of marriage I have realized that although this might be true some of the time, this is not true all of the time.
Sure, I walked into marriage knowing that it was not going to be easy and that there would be many hard times…I just did not expect that me, myself, I, and the sin that I carry would be a source of so many hardships. I have quickly realized that when I said “I do” to spend the rest of my life with someone, I willingly accepted to be placed underneath a “microscope” for the rest of my life.
Marriage serves many a purpose. I truly believe that the hardest but most beneficial purposes it serves is the process of sanctification. Much like a microscope, marriage serves as a device in which each spouse is forced to recognize their “micro-sins,”or sin that has been easily hidden to so many others. It does not take much time for the microscope to discover areas of each person’s life that is filled with “self.”
Sitting underneath the microscope is uncomfortable, because it is a place of vulnerability and exposure. Under the microscope, I am forced to sit still and I am unable to run from the burdens that my flesh brings. In other circumstances it is much easier to escape my sin being brought into the light, but marriage has a way of cornering me to change for the sake of the other.
The process of changing is almost as painful as being under the microscope, because it starts with owning my sin. If I am to change, I first have to be in agreement that there is something within me that is not benefiting myself or others. This is difficult because it is not my human nature to lay my pride aside and accept that I am in need of transformation. After accepting my sin and my need for change is when transformation can actually begin to take place. Luckily, marriage is more then a microscope, which only magnifies sin. Marriage also prompts change and transformation because of the magnified sin.
Within these two months, I have truly grown to appreciate the microscope. Although it is difficult, I know that I am changing because sin that has been hidden in other relationships is coming to the surface. I praise God that He has given me the gift of marriage to serve as a unique tool in the process of my sanctification.